When it comes to having a healthy relationship with your partner involving money, it requires openness, understanding, and realism.
After all, if you don’t have money for an expensive item, having and maintaining respect for each other is what is important.
Saving and working towards buying that dream car can bring you closer together, whereas one person making a selfish, unwise purchase can tear your relationship to shreds. If you cannot be realistic and consider each other’s feelings, it’s going to be a rocky relationship.
Talk About Money
Hopefully, even before you get married or move-in together, money should be an important topic of conversation so that you both understand where you stand. While you don’t want to call off a marriage or a relationship based on money, sometimes, there may be such big issues that you may have to. Be willing to work through the issues openly and transparently.
Put a Budget in Place
Once you start talking about money set up a budget immediately. Realize that you can change the budget over time as you live it. However, setting a budget first, and then working toward perfecting it will help you avoid huge issues later with unplanned spending.
Select Contributing Roles
There are cases in a relationship where one partner is better at budgeting and planning for the future. It’s okay to allow the one who is best at it to do this job. It doesn’t mean the other partner doesn’t have a say in anything.
Include Priorities of All Family Members
When you have kids, your budget should change to include them. Every family member will have different priorities and needs that the others may not have. If it fits in with your financial possibilities, all needs for every member should be accounted for.
Keep Good Financial Records
Every family member should be keeping records of their expenditures and be able to show how they’re contributing to the budget and helping stick to the budget. Having a place to turn in debt and / or credit card receipts each day can help.
Provide Pocket Money for Each Family Member
No matter who earns most of the money, and even if it’s all the money, each person should be given an equal amount of money to spend on whatever they want to spend it on. Even if you have a small budget, $25 a month each can make a huge difference. This also applies to your children.
When you are discussing money set aside a time to talk about it in a safe environment. Accusing your partner of being ignorant about money isn’t going to help. Instead, both of you can accept the problems without being accusatory. Simply stating that mistakes were made and this is how we’re going to fix it should be enough to move forward. No one needs to be right or wrong to fix it.
The sooner you put a budget in place the sooner you can avoid any problems in your relationship regarding money. Avoiding putting a budget in place only causes poor spending and never helps any money problems at all.
Be Uninformed of Family Finances
Even if one partner is in control of the finances due to them being better at it, don’t avoid knowing how it all works. You should know how your budget works and why it’s in place and how it’s working out throughout the years.
Make Others Give Up Important Priorities
Sometimes the person in charge of the money in a family forgets about the others. At some time, each family member should be able to do or get something special for themselves. Any time favoritism is shown towards one person, everyone else will feel that they don’t really matter and may even feel unwanted or appreciated. Make sure everyone gets their fair share of attention and is valued.
Hide Finances from Your Partner
This seems like a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how many spouses lie to each other, often by omission, about how they’re spending money and what they’re buying. Just don’t do it. Even if it’s a small expenditure, you should own up to it and not be worried about sharing. You’re both adults.
Tell Your Family How to Spend Their Pocket Money
When you designate pocket money, it’s important not to tell your family how to spend it. Of course, there can be guidelines such as this is for gifts, coffee, personal care or other things that aren’t part of the joint budget so that expectations are understood.
Being able to work together in your relationship regarding money is a good sign regarding your ability to work together on other topics too. Money is often the hardest one in which to get on the same page together. However, it can be done if you’re both honest and want the best for your future.